So yesterday night, i actually kinda remembered my dream. Ok so i was in my room and i was taking care of these three little girls. i had to make them take showers so i lead them to the bathroom next to my room. then one of the girls starts crying and im like what? and shes like im scared of that vent. so i look up and on the wall is this yellowish vent with poisonous gas flowing out.
so then we all run downstairs. and my parents are just standing there all unconcerned by it and they're just like, dont go there then. the little girls disappeared and i was just there with my parents. then neha was there in her yellow salwaar and we were talking. and then it switches to me and kavita and some other girl in a basement that looks like aditi R's. we're singing this billy joel song "these are the last words i have to say" or something. And then im talking online to aditi. i forget some stuff, but then suddenly im back in my house and i realize that i left my dad's cellphone upstairs (since i lost my own. by the way, if anyone knows where it is or has seen it, TELL ME). so i have to run upstairs through the poison gas to look for it. so im looking and looking and i cant find it, and meanwhile all the poison gas is making me dizzy and im about to faint so then i have to go back downstairs. and then im looking for my gym sweatpants so i go out to the deck and theres piles of clothes everywhere! and i find them and wear them and thats all i remember.
in other news, theres this mysterious haze of fog floating in our kitchen that nobody seems to see except for me. its pretty creepy. like in donnie darko when he saw those light beams come out of everyone and he was the only one that saw them. actually i just thought of that because im listening to the soundtrack right now.
its december now, which is usually time for me to go into my rut. but im staying out of it so far, and i think this year will be good. i probably just jinxed myself. oh well. anyway, im gonna complain a little and talk about things i hate. first of all, i hate obnoxious people...I can't wait to get out of high school so that i don't have to deal with that. there was this obnoxious kid in ping pong today that kept laughing whenever someone missed the ball! ruined my good mood! i also hate being so introverted. i wish i could open up to people more easily like my other friends. and it really sucks that the good stuff that happens to me always disappears because i end up pushing people away. im being less anti social this year but i always still feel paranoid, and that people are gonna end up hating me or getting sick of me. i know its stupid, and it looks even stupider in writing, but thats just how i feel. and i love being carefree, so i really hate feeling like this. okay this isnt really something i hate, but its kinda something thats making me really stressed out. i cant even do one freaking dance without dying so i dont know how the hell im gonna do 10 next year for my arangetram. its so far in the future but its still like, what the hell am i getting myself into...but im soooo glad nehoo is doing it with me, cause otherwise id probably give up and die.
now to talk about something happy! sindhu wanted me to put her in my xanga, so here you go ameba buddy! haha. i don't know what id do without you! even with all your problems and what not you ALWAYS find time to help me with my stupid, unimportant issues. even though my dad will NEVER let me go to your house again, you still find ways to always there for me (probably because we're both always online..) but yeah, its amazing how close we stayed these past few years and i want you to always be happy no matter what happens (yes, you know what im talking about!) so feel special sindhu 
and of course, my babli, appuchi!!!! you know, i seriously feel like we havent talked in forever. but our friendship is probably the thing i cherish the most in this whole world. it feels like with other people i can only share part of myself with, but its like we're the same person and you're probably one of the only people that really know me (its cliche but better than i know myself) im not even half the friend you are to me and even though i don't show it all the time, you're definitely my favorite person and i would die without you! your dad blocked xanga hahaha but you'll still read this in your xanga subscription.
i can't believe im being so sappy. its probably getting near that time of the month. damn it!!!
okay on the topic of happy things, i have to talk about my brother, cause he's definitely one of my favorite people in the whole world. he came home this weekend and even though we were just sitting around in my room doing nothing, it was so much fun! i forget how much i miss him when he's at college. hes the one that molded me and basically everything about me, from my sense of humor to my taste in music is influenced by him. even though he always ignores me when hes on the computer and punches me when i say something dumb, id definitely save him from the pit of fire! haha this sounds too much like the testimonial i gave him on his friendster thingy. oh well.
its time to end this long entry. i spent way too much time on this and now im gonna fail all my classes and not get into college. good night and god bless!
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